Blind Date

Went on a blind date. The girl said: Hello. I answered. Hello, whether to have kids is up to you; will save the adult (if you have a difficult labor); doesn’t matter whose family name the baby gets; having a son is just the same as having a daughter; won’t care even if you are infertile; my mom knows how to swim; not gay; don’t have AIDS; will add your name to the property ownership certificate; won’t live with my parents [after getting married]; don’t visit prostitutes; don’t do drugs; if I have an extramarital affair, I’ll give you everything upon divorce; my bank cards are yours so just buy, buy, buy!



Why I Don’t Buy iPhone6

#Why I don’t buy iPhone 6# iPhone 6 does not support Dual SIM Card Dual Standby…no treble loudspeaker…can’t crack the walnuts open… no cool Marquee feature…no vibrating sensation when I play Phoenix Legend’s songs…waiting for my sugar daddy to buy me one…my heart says yes but my kidneys say no…it’s a Virgo!

…Any other reasons?



Inspiring Baby


A few days ago, an expecting couple in Meadville, Pennsylvania went to the hospital for an ultrasound only to find the 18-week baby give a “like” to the parents in the uterus. The daddy was so excited that he posted the photo online as soon as they went home.


Smart Teacher


Today the foreign instructor from the United Kingdom who teaches oral English did an earthshaking thing…he said that pandas are from South Korea. The ancestors of all the Chinese people are South Koreans and stated categorically that their textbooks taught them that way. As a result all the classmates were dumbfounded. After we argued with him for half an hour, he confessed that he was teasing us only to inspire us to express our opinions in English…Teacher you really understand our anger points [know how to push our buttons]. [泪][泪][泪]

[Note: The past few years have witnessed several cultural history debates between China and South Korea, such as the debate over the nationality of Confucius.]