笑尿[xiào niào], 梗 [gěng], 都教授 [dū jiào shòu] & 笑点 [xiào diǎn]

Lufy from One Piece笑尿[xiào niào] v. Laugh [so hard that I] wet my pants.

梗 [gěng] n. punch line. This slang term is originally written as 哏 [gén], a specific word used in the art of Xiangsheng, the Chinese standup comedy. The current written form is made popular by the Taiwanese pop culture.

都教授 [dū jiào shòu] n. Professor Du, referring to Do Min-joon from the South Korean TV show My Love from the Star which was tremendously popular in China in 2013.

笑点 [xiào diǎn] n. Literally “laughing point”, this slang term refers to one’s level of easiness to burst into laughter upon reading or hearing something funny.  An easily amused person has a low laughing point.

Forwarding two punchlines that cracked me up: putting them together, the first line is “A teenager who wants to do cosmetic surgeries claims to morph into Professor Du—professors in Chengdu hearing the news flock to flee Chengdu.” The second line is “Straw Hat Lufy claims to be the captain [of pirates] in the sea—Shanghai residents hearing the news rush to strengthen their efforts to protect against theft.”  My laughing point is low. Sorry ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[Note: To understand this quip, one needs a basic understanding of the effect of pauses in the Chinese language.

整成都教授 can be read as 整 成都教授 "bully Chengdu professors" or  整成 都教授 "morph into Professor Du [through cosmetic surgeries].”

当上海贼王 can be read as 当 上海贼王 “Be the Thief King of Shanghai” or 当上 海贼王 “be the captain of pirates in the sea.”]

转两个把我笑尿的梗:合一起 上联是“整容少年放言要整成都教授,成都教授闻讯纷纷逃离成都”下联是“草帽路飞放言要当上海贼王,上海居民闻讯纷纷加紧防盗”。我笑点低啊对不起哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Japanese Table Manners

let food get ready

The Japanese say “I shall begin” to start having a meal. Why?

I saw in the Japanese TV shows that people all say this sentence before eating and I am very curious.

Smile re:

To let the food be prepared psychologically.

[Note: The Japanese phrase いただきます "itadakimasu" is translated as "I shall begin [eating]” in Chinese. The popular English translation is “I receive.” The phrase expresses one’s appreciation for the gift from nature. ]

 

段子手 [duàn zi shǒu]

writer, blogger, race car driver, and director Han Han

writer, blogger, race car driver, and director Han Han

段子手 [duàn zi shǒu] n. Internet joke or quip writer.

Friends say, Han Han, you’ve been more and more like an Internet joke writer. I said, what do you mean by “like”? I’ve always been one. Don’t look down on Internet joke writers. When I wrote essays as a child, for fear that other people don’t want to read them, I wished I could embed humor everywhere in the text. As a result, my later novels and essays have all been characterized by such a [hilarious] style. In a society [like ours], I share joys, because I hope that everyone will feel happy after reading [my works]. I hide my pains, because I fear that people will be happier after seeing them.

[Note: Han Han has been dubbed "National Father-in-Law" on Weibo because of his adorable daughter Han Xiaoye. Netizens enjoy captioning the pictures he shares on Weibo to either win his "favor" or to draw a comparison between the silly father and the cute daughter.]

朋友说,韩寒,你最近越来越像一个段子手了。我说,什么叫像,一直就是。别看不起段子手。小时候写文章,就怕别人读不下去,所以恨不得处处出彩,段段有 点,导致以后的小说和杂文都带着这种气息。在这样的社会里,我分享快乐,是希望大家看到以后都能快乐。我隐藏痛苦,是害怕大家看到以后更快乐。

Shut up

Strongly recommend that the background music for Mo Yan’s award ceremony be Black Eyed Peas’ ‘Shut Up’. It’s practically made for him! ——Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut it up Just shut up~~

[Note: In the speech after receiving an honorary doctoral degree at The Open University of Hong Kong in 2005, Mo Yan explained the reason why he created the pen name "Mo Yan" (literally "no talking") for himself: He was an outspoken child and often caused trouble for his parents during the Cultural Revolution. His family often warned him not to be too talkative. However, decades later, Mo Yan still hasn't been able to "stay quiet" in his writing career. His honesty often embarrassed fellow writers at literature conferences and even offended some readers of his books.]

强烈提议莫言的颁奖礼背景音乐放黑眼豆豆的Shut Up。简直就是为他量身定做啊!——Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut it up Just shut up~~

Nobel Laureate

Q: Are there any Chinese people who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There are, but they all have foreign citizenship.
(Ding Zhaozhong/Samuel C.C. Ting, Li Yuanzhe/Yuan T. Lee, Zhu Diwen/Steven Chu, Cui Qi/Daniel C. Tsui, Sai Zhenzhu/Pearl S. Buck , Qian Yongjian/Roger Yonchien Tsien)

Q: Are there any Chinese nationals who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There are, but they’re all citizens of the Republic of China.
(Li Zhengdao/Tsung-Dao Lee, Yang Zhenning/Chen Ning Yang)

Q: Are there any citizens of the New China [PRC] who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There is, but he doesn’t consider himself a Chinese citizen.
(Gao Xingjian)

Q: Are there any citizens of the New China that consider themselves Chinese who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There is, but we don’t consider him a Chinese citizen.
(Dalai Lama)

Q: Are there any citizens of the New China that consider themselves Chinese citizens and the country also considers them to be Chinese citizens who won the Nobel Prize?
A: There is, but he’s in prison.
(Liu Xiaobo)

问:有没有中国人获得诺贝尔奖?

答:有,但他们都拿着外国国籍。

(丁肇中、李远哲、朱棣文、崔琦、赛珍珠、钱永健)

问:有没有新中国的公民获得过诺贝尔奖?

答:有,但他不承认自己是中国公民。

(高行健)

问:有没有自己承认自己是中国公民,国家也承认他是中国公民的新中国公民获得诺贝尔奖?

答:有,但他在监狱里。

(刘晓波)

Cherish Your Night Owl Friend

cryIf you also have a friend who likes staying up all-night, please cherish him or her, because you ma not know when he or she might just suddenly die…

[Note: This Weibo post is popular among Chinese young people because they like forwarding this message and @-ing their friends.]

如果你也有个喜欢熬夜的朋友,请好好珍惜他,因为也许不知道什么时候,他就死了。。。