Blind Date

Went on a blind date. The girl said: Hello. I answered. Hello, whether to have kids is up to you; will save the adult (if you have a difficult labor); doesn’t matter whose family name the baby gets; having a son is just the same as having a daughter; won’t care even if you are infertile; my mom knows how to swim; not gay; don’t have AIDS; will add your name to the property ownership certificate; won’t live with my parents [after getting married]; don’t visit prostitutes; don’t do drugs; if I have an extramarital affair, I’ll give you everything upon divorce; my bank cards are yours so just buy, buy, buy!

blind-date

去相亲,女孩说:你好。我回答:你好,生不生随你保大的跟谁姓都行生男生女都一样不能生也无所谓我妈会游泳不是gay没有艾滋房产证加你名不和爹妈一起住不嫖娼不吸毒要是搞外遇我净身出户银行卡归你买买买!

Why I Don’t Buy iPhone6

#Why I don’t buy iPhone 6# iPhone 6 does not support Dual SIM Card Dual Standby…no treble loudspeaker…can’t crack the walnuts open… no cool Marquee feature…no vibrating sensation when I play Phoenix Legend’s songs…waiting for my sugar daddy to buy me one…my heart says yes but my kidneys say no…it’s a Virgo!

…Any other reasons?

iphone6

#不买iPhone6的原因#不是双卡双待…没有高音大喇叭…不能砸核桃…没有炫酷跑马灯…放凤凰传奇没有震动感…等干爹送…心有余而肾不足…它是处女座的!…………………还有什么原因?

Inspiring Baby

ultrasound

A few days ago, an expecting couple in Meadville, Pennsylvania went to the hospital for an ultrasound only to find the 18-week baby give a “like” to the parents in the uterus. The daddy was so excited that he posted the photo online as soon as they went home.

前几天,宾州米德维尔一对怀孕的夫妇去医院做B超检查,才18周大的小胎儿在子宫里为爸妈点了个赞,老爸很激动,一回家就把照片发到网上了。

Smart Teacher

foreign-english-teacher

Today the foreign instructor from the United Kingdom who teaches oral English did an earthshaking thing…he said that pandas are from South Korea. The ancestors of all the Chinese people are South Koreans and stated categorically that their textbooks taught them that way. As a result all the classmates were dumbfounded. After we argued with him for half an hour, he confessed that he was teasing us only to inspire us to express our opinions in English…Teacher you really understand our anger points [know how to push our buttons]. [泪][泪][泪]

[Note: The past few years have witnessed several cultural history debates between China and South Korea, such as the debate over the nationality of Confucius.]