The guardroom made by the dumb ass owner…
梗 [gěng] n. punch line. This slang term is originally written as 哏 [gén], a specific word used in the art of Xiangsheng, the Chinese standup comedy. The current written form is made popular by the Taiwanese pop culture.
都教授 [dū jiào shòu] n. Professor Du, referring to Do Min-joon from the South Korean TV show My Love from the Star which was tremendously popular in China in 2013.
笑点 [xiào diǎn] n. Literally “laughing point”, this slang term refers to one’s level of easiness to burst into laughter upon reading or hearing something funny. An easily amused person has a low laughing point.
Forwarding two punchlines that cracked me up: putting them together, the first line is “A teenager who wants to do cosmetic surgeries claims to morph into Professor Du—professors in Chengdu hearing the news flock to flee Chengdu.” The second line is “Straw Hat Lufy claims to be the captain [of pirates] in the sea—Shanghai residents hearing the news rush to strengthen their efforts to protect against theft.” My laughing point is low. Sorry ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[Note: To understand this quip, one needs a basic understanding of the effect of pauses in the Chinese language.
整成都教授 can be read as 整 成都教授 "bully Chengdu professors" or 整成 都教授 "morph into Professor Du [through cosmetic surgeries].”
当上海贼王 can be read as 当 上海贼王 “Be the Thief King of Shanghai” or 当上 海贼王 “be the captain of pirates in the sea.”]
The Japanese say “I shall begin” to start having a meal. Why?
I saw in the Japanese TV shows that people all say this sentence before eating and I am very curious.
To let the food be prepared psychologically.
[Note: The Japanese phrase いただきます "itadakimasu" is translated as "I shall begin [eating]” in Chinese. The popular English translation is “I receive.” The phrase expresses one’s appreciation for the gift from nature. ]
段子手 [duàn zi shǒu] n. Internet joke or quip writer.
Friends say, Han Han, you’ve been more and more like an Internet joke writer. I said, what do you mean by “like”? I’ve always been one. Don’t look down on Internet joke writers. When I wrote essays as a child, for fear that other people don’t want to read them, I wished I could embed humor everywhere in the text. As a result, my later novels and essays have all been characterized by such a [hilarious] style. In a society [like ours], I share joys, because I hope that everyone will feel happy after reading [my works]. I hide my pains, because I fear that people will be happier after seeing them.
[Note: Han Han has been dubbed "National Father-in-Law" on Weibo because of his adorable daughter Han Xiaoye. Netizens enjoy captioning the pictures he shares on Weibo to either win his "favor" or to draw a comparison between the silly father and the cute daughter.]
So far, the Chinese people who have received the Nobel Prize include: Not allowed to say, not allowed to say, and doesn’t say.
[Note: The three people are Dalai Lama, Liu Xiaobo, and Mo Yan.]
Strongly recommend that the background music for Mo Yan’s award ceremony be Black Eyed Peas’ ‘Shut Up’. It’s practically made for him! ——Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut it up Just shut up~~
[Note: In the speech after receiving an honorary doctoral degree at The Open University of Hong Kong in 2005, Mo Yan explained the reason why he created the pen name "Mo Yan" (literally "no talking") for himself: He was an outspoken child and often caused trouble for his parents during the Cultural Revolution. His family often warned him not to be too talkative. However, decades later, Mo Yan still hasn't been able to "stay quiet" in his writing career. His honesty often embarrassed fellow writers at literature conferences and even offended some readers of his books.]
强烈提议莫言的颁奖礼背景音乐放黑眼豆豆的Shut Up。简直就是为他量身定做啊！——Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Just shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut it up Just shut up~~
Don’t know who Mo Yan is? Never read his books? Don’t worry! You’ll see him on next year’s college entrance exams!!!
Q: Are there any Chinese people who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There are, but they all have foreign citizenship.
(Ding Zhaozhong/Samuel C.C. Ting, Li Yuanzhe/Yuan T. Lee, Zhu Diwen/Steven Chu, Cui Qi/Daniel C. Tsui, Sai Zhenzhu/Pearl S. Buck , Qian Yongjian/Roger Yonchien Tsien)
Q: Are there any citizens of the New China [PRC] who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There is, but he doesn’t consider himself a Chinese citizen.
Q: Are there any citizens of the New China that consider themselves Chinese who have won the Nobel prize?
A: There is, but we don’t consider him a Chinese citizen.
Q: Are there any citizens of the New China that consider themselves Chinese citizens and the country also considers them to be Chinese citizens who won the Nobel Prize?
A: There is, but he’s in prison.
[Note: This Weibo post is popular among Chinese young people because they like forwarding this message and @-ing their friends.]