Internet Slang, Quips

If Pan Jinlian Didn’t Open the Window…

Pan Jinlian is a fictional character in the classic novel Water Margins. She had an extramarital affair with Ximen Qing, and was then killed by her brother-in-law Wu Song.
Pan Jinlian is a fictional character in the classic novel Water Margins. She had an extramarital affair with Ximen Qing, and was then killed by her brother-in-law Wu Song.

If Pan Jinlian didn’t open the window, she wouldn’t have encountered Ximen Qing; if she didn’t encounter Ximen Qing, she wouldn’t have committed infidelity; if she didn’t commit infidelity, Wu Song wouldn’t have been forced to escape to Mount Liang (after killing her and Ximen Qing); if Wu Song didn’t escape to Mount Liang, Fang La wouldn’t have been arrested and he might have obtained Song’s territory; if Fang La obtained Song’s territory, there wouldn’t have been the Jingkang Incident, the entry of the Jin military, or the Qing Dynasty; then there wouldn’t have been a closing off to the outside world, the Opium Wars, or the Eight-Nation Alliance. That way China would have been the only superpower in the world, and the other vassal states would have been as unimportant as passing clouds. Little Pan, did you have nothing else to do? Why the hell did you open the window?!

假如潘金莲不开窗户,不会遇西门庆;不遇西门不会出轨;不出轨,武松不会逼上梁山;武松不上梁山,方腊不会被擒,可取得大宋江山;不会有靖康耻、金兵入关,不会有大清朝;不会闭关锁国,不会有鸦片战争八国联军.中国将是世界上唯一的超级大国,其他诸侯都是浮云.小潘呀,闲着没事你她妈开什么窗户!

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