Chinese Teachers Don’t Get It

First she trained her student to be her husband, then she trained her husband to be the president of the country. What a successful educator! But when I was a student, the beautiful teacher in charge of my class only freaking knew about meeting with my parents and making me stand still as a punishment. She messed up the cultivation of the president of our country.


Programmer’s SOS Signal

【A programmer kidnapped by a multi-level marketing company sought help with code. His colleagues got the drift instantly and replied him with a code segment including a “6” [meaning 110—the telephone number to call the police—in the binary system]】A young programmer called Little Zhang (alias) works at a big software company in Nanjing. He never expected that while being controlled by a multi-level marketing company and on the verge of despair his cry for help through a fabricated code segment was instantly understood by his coder colleagues. They rused to Tianjin and assisted the cops to successfully get him back.

【程序员掉进传销组织用代码“呼救” 同事秒懂回个6】南京一家大型软件企业的年轻程序员小张(化名)万万没有想到,当他被传销组织控制、几近绝望之时,自己尝试利用计算机“代码”向同事传递求救信息,他的程序员同事们竟然“秒懂”,并赴天津协助警方,将他成功解救出来。​​​​

Source: Weibo

Internet Slang, Quips

愛笑的女孩運氣不會太差 [ài xiào de nǚ hái yùn qì bù huì tài chà]

愛笑的女孩運氣不會太差 [ài xiào de nǚ hái yùn qì bù huì tài chà] Expression. Girls who like laughing usually won’t have bad luck.

【Scientists say: Having a low laughing threshold is a predictor for dementia】There is a saying that goes “Girls who like laughing usually won’t have bad luck.” We have always regard it as a motto. Nonetheless, researchers from University of London claim that an unusual sense of humor may be an early sign of dementia. If your friends and family often laugh inappropriately, you must contact the doctor immediately.

Source: Weibo
Pictures, Quips

A Prison for His Highness


general-and-i-prison-02#钟汉良孤芳不自赏#[心]#钟汉良孤芳不自赏#[心]No wonder they said the prison of Jin is saved for His Highness. Look at all those Ws on the wall. You can’t deny that. [二哈][二哈][二哈] I wonder if the cast and crew did it on purpose.[笑cry][笑cry][笑cry]@钟汉良 #钟汉良#

#钟汉良孤芳不自赏#[心]#钟汉良孤芳不自赏#[心]怪不得说这大晋的天牢是给王爷预备的,看看这满墙的W,真是无法反驳[二哈][二哈][二哈]我怀疑剧组是不是故意的[笑cry][笑cry][笑cry]@钟汉良 #钟汉良#


Wallace Chung: My Path of Music

In 1995, I released my first album. At that time, I was taking photos in Kending. Since the sun kept stalking me—it just followed us wherever we went, the company simply called me the Little Sun. (Fans: Little Sun!)

I am not talking about where the Little Sun [nickname] came from, but do you want to listen to what I’m gonna say? (Fans: Yes!) I know! Today what I would like to share with you is my stories on the path of music. (LMS: Mandarin!) [The fans shouted “Mandarin” because Wallace tried to say the word “stories” with a Beijing accent.]

I was raised in Hong Kong, but my first album was not a Cantonese album, but a Mandarin album. (Fans: A Hong Kong Mandarin album!)

Not a Hong Kong Mandarin [Mandarin with the Cantonese accent] album. It was a standard Mandarin album, called OREA. I did many things, came across some things, and relished many things. I was curious about everything, I observed and learned things on the fly. No matter what kinds of difficultes or problems I encountered, I regarded them as challenges. Many many years later, I cooked my own Cornucopia Music, Inc. [Wallace pronounced “set up” as “cooked” due to his adorable Cantonese accent. I want to point out that the literal translation of the company name is “flowers and grass.”] (The original poster’s comment: It turned out that Cornucopia came into being through cooking.)

You guys know that story already? [Fans: Yes!]

I still want to mention it even if you know it. Later I made the song “Fine Day” and the album All Eyes On Me [Literal translation: Visual Animal], and some theme songs and other soundtracks for TV series and movies. And other stuff. At the end of last year, I released the new album Sing For Life. I became the producer [for that album]. (Fans: Producer Chung!)

I felt that making music is not a simple task, just like how complex it is to be an actor and a director. Yet, all those experiences made me discover two characters: Zhuan Zhu [Focus]. Before I knew it, I had heard those two characters for 20 years. Although it has been such a long time, I am still like a little child, and you all should be like a little child as well, always holding on to a curious heart, remaining fearless even when you fall down. Just brush the dust off and bravely get back on your feet.

95年的時候我發行了第一張專輯,當時我在墾丁拍照,因為太陽就一直看著我一直跟著我 ,我們走到哪就跟到哪 ,所以公司就叫我小太陽。(LMS:小太陽~) 我不是要說小太陽的由來,但是你們想聽嗎?(LMS:想聽) 我知道啦 !今天想要說的是要跟大家分享一下我在音樂這條路上的事。(LMS:普通話)我在香港長大,但是我第一張專輯,並不是廣東話專輯,而是一張普通話專輯。(LMS:港普專輯) 不是港普專輯 是普通話專輯 ,標準普通話專輯 ,叫《OREA》。做了很多事情, 碰到一些事情,覺得很有趣,每一件事情都好好奇,一邊看一邊學。不管我碰到什麼困難碰到什麼問題,我都把它變成是一個挑戰。後來很多年之後 ,我就煮了自己的花花草草音樂工作室 (原來花花草草是煮來的),這個知道 ?(LMS:知道)知道還是要說一下 。後來製作了《風和日麗》《視覺動物》,還有一些不管是電視還是電影的主題曲 ,插曲 ,等等 ,到去年年底發行《樂作人生》的新專輯。我自己當上了監制(LMS:鍾監制),我就覺得做音樂真的不是一件簡單的事,就好像當演員當導演也是一件非常不簡單的事。但是這一切的一切讓我發現了兩個字:專注。這兩個字讓我不知不覺聆聽了二十年。雖然這麼久了,我依然像個小孩子一樣,你們也應該像個小孩子一樣,永遠保持一顆好奇心,跌倒了不怕,拍拍灰塵勇敢的站起來就是。

Source: Weibo

Jokes, Pictures, Quips

Honor Board

The Honor Board from a high school contains the pictures and comments of the top 50 students on a comprehensive exam:


The Indians are god, igniting the fire of Math.

—Zheng XX; Score: 666; Ranking: No. 23

Math is fire, turning on the light of Physics.

—Shan XX; Score: 665; Ranking: No. 24


Physics is the light, illuminating the path to Chemistry.

—Deng XX; Score: 662; Ranking: No. 30

Chemistry is the path, leading to the pit of Biology.

—Fang XX; Score: 662; Ranking: 30

Biology is the pit where the Natural Science students are buried.

—Zheng XX; Score: 661; Ranking: 31


Yu XX’s words:

The first time (Score: 595.5; Ranking: No. 25):

A time will come for me to ride the wind and cleave the waves.

[Note: The above comment is quoted from the poem “Hard Is The Road Of The World” by Li Bai.]

The second time (Score: 608.5; Ranking: No. 33):

Let me repeat this: A time will come for me to ride the wind and cleave the waves.

The third time (Score: 598.5; Ranking: No. 24):

This is the third time that I say this: A time will come for me to ride the wind and cleave the waves.

Source: Weibo